Who I Am

Hi Mohammed and Amina,

I bet you often wonder and often ask yourselves...who is my mom? What is she like? What has she been doing all these years? Well...today you are in luck.

Who I am...well...this is not as easy as it sounds and you'll see why I say this as you get older. I still ask myself this question all the time...and guess what...it is normal and acceptable to do so...and even encouraged! Get ready to sit and read for a while and yes, this is only the highlights.

My past is my past and although I have made mistakes and done some really stupid things (who hasn't)...I actually don't regret one moment of it. Why is because it has made me stronger and made me who I am today. So most people like to talk about only the good things and paint all rainbows and sunshine, but I'm going to give you both as I am TODAY....not yesterday...not 10 years ago....today....

I'll say as a disclaimer for all that you're about to read...I AM HUMAN!
So for my not so great "human" and "normal" qualities that I work on all the time....and things I don't like. I get angry sometimes. I get upset sometimes. I get impatient sometimes. I am probably too much of a work-a-holic. I lose focus and daydream more than I probably should. I strive for perfection in myself and others and sometimes have to tell myself that this is who they are and leave it be. Probably am considered ADD. I thankfully don't get depressed much or deal with PTSD anymore because I've become more spiritually aware and when I do slip and have a "sad day" it usually isn't more than a few hours and then I'm ok again. I'm not great with balance anymore. Have a fear of heights unless I am harnessed to something secure. Totally do not like bugs! Over the years I have become more of an INFJ personality type. I used to be more of an ENFP, but I've calmed down and observe more. I definitely need my alone time once and a while to recharge. Also now that I'm older and become more responsible...that "P" personality kinda is starting to bug me now that I'm planning my life more and where I want to go. Yeah, totally not a fan of my life hitting bumps in the road and setting my goal off course. Not all that great with telling jokes. Anything in math higher than Pre-Calculus scares me. Chemistry was a challenge too. Can't dance all that well. Sometimes walk into the edge of walls/doors lol because yes...I was distracted and daydreaming again. Really not a fan of getting dirty through actual dirt or germs. Can't stand closed minded people. Will not tolerate abusive people. Can't stand fat on meat. Not a fan of a lot of seafood. Not the greatest with organization, but I can usually follow what someone has created. Anything over 70 degrees outside has become too hot, like the 60's the best....never moving down south again...ever. Not all that great with keeping in touch with family and friends like I should. Tend to put other people's needs over myself to the point where I don't always take care of myself (not buying new clothes, working too much, etc)

Now for the good stuff. Now I may be a dreamer, but it does have its good qualities too. It makes me a lot more creative and I think and reflect a lot. Gained a lot of weight due to stress and probably age so I'm really focusing on healthy eating. Lactose and gluten intolerant and very low on vitamin D. Stress and diet affect the body A LOT. Love to read, especially non-fiction books. First went to college for Psychology, but found you can't really get a good enough job to support yourself with just a Bachelor's so I am going for Nursing and then later will finish up something on the side like Psych or human services. Looking into doing some sort of charity work once I'm through with school. Passionate about human rights. I really do love to help other people and believe strongly in holistic healing. You have to heal the mind, body and soul for optimum health. Like hypnosis and meditation and therapeutic touch methods of healing. Becoming much more spiritual and not religious at all. People can be who they want to be, just I am who I am. I belong to the Phi Theta Kappa honor's society. I work full time and go to school at night. I'm really good with computers. Love vegetables. Love sci-fi/fantasy movies the best. Love music except for Jazz. Music really speaks to the soul and can express sometimes what you can't always put in words. Love animals, especially horses. I have 2 dogs and once I move into a house that I own one day I'll have a cat. I love growing things in a garden and feel connected to the plants. Looking into canning and other ways of preserving food for the year. Looking into archery, but even if I were to go hunting for my own food, I believe in thanking the animal and not doing it for sport. I love to go hiking in the woods. Love to write poetry. Dark chocolate is my weakness. Really big into dna and genetics and even had my spit analyzed and found out some pretty cool stuff. I'm also really into making my family tree and collecting all the info on them all. I think it is very important to know where your family came from and to know how they lived. I try to learn about all types of people and cultures...the differences and similarities fascinate me. I'm passionate about freedom of thought and exploration. Love art and unique things especially if they are tied into nature or have a rainbow shine to them. Love going to old car shows. Love the beach and the mountains....just nature in general. I love to learn and explore...I'll never stop learning and growing. Married to a good guy who treats me with respect and equally and allows me the freedom to be who I want to be and need to be. Overall I am pretty happy.

I love you both xoxo
Mom